Little Things

In the first year of motherhood, there was no breaking point or moment when things suddenly became challenging. The challenge was constant. I was running on fumes after a steady accumulation of days during which my body and mind were stretched and rearranged. The weight of responsibility never lifts — you simply adjust.

I had support, and advice was everywhere, but what actually got me through were small, quiet comforts that held me up when I was exhausted.

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For much of that year, my shoulders lived somewhere up around my ears. At the end of the day, after the baby went to sleep, I would finally sit down and feel them relax. I remember how relieving it was to exist in a moment where nothing was required of me.

Looking back, it was the little things. Funny, isn’t it? They always say it, but when you finally recognize the truth in it, the corners of your mouth can’t help but turn up.

It’s the little things.

In a season that asked everything of me — mind, heart, body, and soul — it was the small daily comforts that bolstered me against the storm of new motherhood. And it is a storm, unique to every mother.

Surprisingly, the first thing I began to crave was socks. Maybe it was because I gave birth in winter, or maybe it’s because our house stays cool, but my favorite thing to put on in the mornings and after a shower became a good pair of socks. I asked for them for Christmas. I wore different kinds depending on my plans. I even talked about them with my girlfriends. Sound nerdy? I think so too — but here I am.

The second comfort I still reach for often is a warming shoulder massager. My love for it is twofold. First, it helps with my perpetually tense shoulders. Second, it requires me to sit still and stop multitasking for five to ten minutes every evening.

In the first year of motherhood, it’s paramount to reach for the things that give you a break, however small. When you find ways to calm your mind and regulate your nervous system, you create more capacity — for yourself and for your child.

Year one is not about performing perfectly or proving that you can do it better than anyone else. It’s about endurance, pacing yourself, and taking care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby. Anything that helps you breathe more deeply or feel a little more like yourself again matters.

It always did.